he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
