Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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