I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
