I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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