If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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