So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
