Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When are your genitals available?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
