Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
