One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
