I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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