My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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