Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
