Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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