There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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