i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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