Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
