i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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