apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i've created a new STD.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
