She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
