Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
