We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
