11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
