Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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