i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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