It's Friday. Sex?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Found the puke drawer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
