im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
