Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
