i would punch a child for taco bell
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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