I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
