420 ftw
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
