I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
