No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
