You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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