what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
