Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?

(440): View more from Ohio

Probably.

(216): View more from Ohio

I'm in.

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(216): Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word? (440): Probably. (216): I'm in. http://tfl.nu/bl31

Replies (14) Good night (4217) Bad night (484)
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(805): View more from California

I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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(805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg

Replies (8) Good night (2102) Bad night (2970)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.

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(+64): No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker. http://tfl.nu/g6g3

Replies (7) Good night (6044) Bad night (672)
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(785): View more from Kansas

There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.

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(785): There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob. http://tfl.nu/pwq0

Replies (26) Good night (4610) Bad night (2435)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.

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(401): after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome. http://tfl.nu/gm5a

Replies (25) Good night (5794) Bad night (1322)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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(860): She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it. http://tfl.nu/dkuo

Replies (14) Good night (3647) Bad night (1310)
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(626): View more from California

How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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(626): How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans. http://tfl.nu/e33l

Replies (12) Good night (2627) Bad night (1087)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

How did you break your hand eating pizza?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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(603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz

Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (820)
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(509): View more from Washington

Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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(509): Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life. http://tfl.nu/zh07

Replies (6) Good night (1545) Bad night (673)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.

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(618): I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it? (1-618): We wouldn't be friends if you didn't. http://tfl.nu/4027

Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (666)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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(405): I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again. http://tfl.nu/ydjf

Replies (12) Good night (470) Bad night (2028)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

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(608): I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home http://tfl.nu/rt92

Replies (6) Good night (1201) Bad night (582)
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(620): View more from Kansas

What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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(620): What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself. http://tfl.nu/i9qu

Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (217)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.

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(+44): My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more. http://tfl.nu/t57q

Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (207)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore

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(505): Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore http://tfl.nu/mshh

Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (335)

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