i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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