it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to