Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me too. Send a cab. Order food.

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  (502): Me too. Send a cab. Order food. http://tfl.nu/uwpo
  Replies (2) Good night (1161) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  so explain again why im purple

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no

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  (925): so explain again why im purple (617): no http://tfl.nu/yipi
  Replies (10) Good night (2006) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  On imdb the canadians say It's amazing

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  (320): On imdb the canadians say It's amazing http://tfl.nu/r6wi
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (704)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm in love with you.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  huh?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.

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  (860): I'm in love with you. (1-860): huh? (860): Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it. http://tfl.nu/in9v
  Replies (14) Good night (3300) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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  (901): I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort. http://tfl.nu/dcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (3401) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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  (972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi
  Replies (15) Good night (795) Bad night (3415)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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  (773): legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup http://tfl.nu/hm49
  Replies (15) Good night (776) Bad night (6953)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.

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  (303): We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is. http://tfl.nu/mbfy
  Replies (6) Good night (3739) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
  Replies (7) Good night (1175) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

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  (416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn
  Replies (5) Good night (1249) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!

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  (618): I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!! http://tfl.nu/uufd
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg

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  (702): one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg http://tfl.nu/43te
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.

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  (216): "Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said. http://tfl.nu/ej6x
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.

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  (804): Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69. http://tfl.nu/uhxb
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (162)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I love you but I don't want to see you naked.

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  (864): I love you but I don't want to see you naked. http://tfl.nu/c4hb
  Replies (3) Good night (120) Bad night (302)

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