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• (586): View more from Michigan

  But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer

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• (830): View more from Texas

  If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  How did you even find out?

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Oh.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  They shoved things up my nose I feel violated

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.

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