Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

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(573): My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best. http://tfl.nu/21y4

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(954): View more from Florida

My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.

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(954): My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet. http://tfl.nu/5qcs

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(703): View more from Virginia

She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.

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(703): She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything. http://tfl.nu/cutc

Replies (18) Good night (953) Bad night (3369) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout

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(215): I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout http://tfl.nu/qm9m

Replies (11) Good night (6151) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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(706): View more from Georgia

Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.

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(706): Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day. http://tfl.nu/8doe

Replies (17) Good night (7687) Bad night (565) Order T-Shirt
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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(864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul

Replies (53) Good night (1337) Bad night (5616)
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(216): View more from Ohio

The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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(216): The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again. http://tfl.nu/9v1i

Replies (45) Good night (4810) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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(301): they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with. http://tfl.nu/84m6

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(555): View more from

My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

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(555): My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique http://tfl.nu/mm4o

Replies (17) Good night (4369) Bad night (1332) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going

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(513): My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going http://tfl.nu/twm1

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(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

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(805): I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form. http://tfl.nu/c7k9

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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(816): I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/d5bh

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?

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(709): Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank? http://tfl.nu/b51n

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(719): View more from Colorado

She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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(719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq

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(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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(513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza

Replies (13) Good night (3205) Bad night (884)

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