I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.