Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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  (209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt
  Replies (14) Good night (5307) Bad night (685)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap

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  (505): sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap http://tfl.nu/vpaq
  Replies (14) Good night (1128) Bad night (4387)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

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  (203): i just stepped in cum. i hate you. (603): Thats what happens when you don't swallow. http://tfl.nu/7phl
  Replies (86) Good night (9732) Bad night (3081)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.

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  (609): and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience. http://tfl.nu/1o4v
  Replies (34) Good night (954) Bad night (5994)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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  (604): Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub. http://tfl.nu/91f9
  Replies (20) Good night (5695) Bad night (1267)
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  (925): View more from California

  He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me

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  (925): He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me http://tfl.nu/mntk
  Replies (16) Good night (1140) Bad night (4972)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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  (615): You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea. http://tfl.nu/dzpq
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (4180)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1844) Bad night (727)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.

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  (972): I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper. http://tfl.nu/qsqq
  Replies (7) Good night (2268) Bad night (863)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'd say they're off to a great start!

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  (703): Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles. (571): I'd say they're off to a great start! http://tfl.nu/1lyt
  Replies (4) Good night (2260) Bad night (634)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i think the last part kind of negates the first part there

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  (773): I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off. (847): i think the last part kind of negates the first part there http://tfl.nu/g7hy
  Replies (3) Good night (1078) Bad night (473)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight

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  (519): I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/pto6
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (280)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.

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  (731): I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office. http://tfl.nu/6ten
  Replies (3) Good night (951) Bad night (336)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.

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  (317): Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night. http://tfl.nu/xh92
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (240)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.

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  (509): hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer. http://tfl.nu/ou78
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (252)

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