At least make sure they are 18
Why
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
