If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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