She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
babies were throwing up all over the place
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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