Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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