i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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