So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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