Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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