I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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