I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
