honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
