Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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