dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The uberlube is also flammable
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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