He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
