ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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