i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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