dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
