I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
vagina is talking i cant
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
