You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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