I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
