giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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