I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
