you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
