I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
