um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
