We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
