i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
