My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
