no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
