i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
