Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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