i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
