carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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