there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
