That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
