Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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