Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
