Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
