YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
